Current mood:

crazy

Day care visit
Written on Friday.

So I visited the contentious Potential Baby School today (referred from here as PBS). I wanted to go at a good time when I could see some action, so I came when they told me nap time ends: 2:00. But of course, I should have realized that nap time doesn't just stop at 2 on the dot, that everyone doesn't jump up and assemble into circle time. The kids were still asleep when I got there, so I just talked to the teachers and the director again. Oh, and Penelope was with me, because she was sick last night. It's probably really bad of me that I brought her there, since she couldn't go to her OWN Baby School today, but she's not sick today, so it's fine. I swear.

Anyway, it wasn't a dazzling, pre-rehearsed tour like I like, but everything they told me sounded good. They are accredited. They have a curriculum. This month, for instance, they are learning the colors black and white, so there are construction paper chains in those colors hanging from the ceiling that will be swapped out next month when they move on to another color. They work on art projects and drawings and stuff all the time and have their working hanging all over the place. Our current Baby School almost never sends home Penelope's work like that, so I guess they don't do a lot of it, which is a big point for PBS since I think that kind of thing is kind of important.

Penelope will be in the young 2s room if she goes there. They move to the older 2s when they are almost ready to potty train, and in that class, they potty train in groups of 2 or 3. They tell me it takes only 2-3 weeks to accomplish potty training, and the teacher works with you to help you know what to be doing at home while they are working on potty training at school. However, if it seems apparent that a child is NOT ready to potty train, they stop and wait a while longer.

I saw the baby room, too, since that's of interest to me. There were only 3 babies there at the time, so only one teacher, but they have up to 8 babies and 1 teacher per 4. That's what our Baby School in Connecticut had, and it worked out fine. The classroom is very small, and there are swings and bouncy seats and excersaucers. That's something I didn't like about the CT day care I ended up ditching: I worried that they might slap the kids in a swing and ignore them. That may or may not be a valid fear. On the plus side, the baby teacher was talking to me about transitioning and said they had a baby who took almost a month to become accustomed to being there. "She would cry, and we would hold her, and we would try this and try that, and hold her some more," the lady told me. So holding babies is something they do! In fact, she picked up a crying baby while I was there. She seemed pretty attentive.

The class sizes beyond the baby room are somewhat concerning. For Penelope's class, there will be 6 kids to a teacher, with two classes side by side and divided by a half wall like I described before. Penelope will have one teacher she knows as her own teacher, but she will be familiar with the other teachers who are around, filling in for lunches and stuff. When the class sizes are reduced by people being out or going home, the classes may be combined. They are combined with the older 2s for outside play.

The older 2s class size jumps from 6 per teacher to 11! If I understand correctly, there can be up to 22 kids in that room with 2 teachers, though right now there are 18. That's a really big group of 2-year-olds. An article on parenting.com recommends ratios no greater than 4:1 for toddlers and 10:1 for preschoolers. Our current Baby School has up to 18 kids in the 2-year-old room and 3 teachers. The class Penelope is in right now is just before the 2-year-old room, and there are 2 teachers and up to 10 children, but I counted the list of kids yesterday, and there are only 7. Then the class sizes get bigger for 3s and 4s, but now I'm not sure what they get to, nor am I sure what they are at our current location. Actually, I take that back: the ratio at the current Baby School is 5:1 for our current class, 6:1 for the 2-year-old class (so the same as PBS for the class we'd be entering now) and 9:1 for 3-5 years.

Another difference is that our current Baby School has this special Montessori language for stuff. Like they don't say "no" or "don't"; they instead say what it is they want to happen. So instead of "stop running," they say "use your walking feet." Or they teach the children to stick up for themselves by saying "My body!" if someone hits or otherwise touches them. At the PBS, there was some of that "positive language" use, but there was also "no." At one point, one kid did something to some other kid (I didn't see it), and the teacher said, "No, no, not nice!" Then all the other kids began saying to each other, "No, no, not nice!" So it's clearly something they hear as commonly as Penelope hears "My body!" I confess I feel pretty ambivalent about the usefulness of one method over the other, and I say "no" in my home all the time. But so help me, I still love that "my body" crap. So help me!

Because we arrived at the end of nap, we left and went to run some errands and hoped to return in time for circle time. But we missed circle time and got there for outside time. So we went to the playground. It's a nice, spacious playground with lots to do, and the age groups are segregated to keep the bigger kids from the smaller ones. Our current Baby School's playground is pretty small and crappy, which is forgivable because the center is in the middle of this downtown building, and they've fashioned the narrow space between two buildings into a playground. The kids have just as much fun there as they would anywhere else, so who cares. However, there is only the one playground, and at the end of the day, everyone is playing on it.

Penelope just stood holding my hand for the longest time, but she eventually went to play. She didn't really play with the other kids; as far as I know, she doesn't play much with other kids at her current Baby School. She seems to prefer to do her own thing and will wait for the toy or equipment she wants to free up so she can have it to herself. She really did not interact with any of the other kids or teachers while we were at the PBS, even when the teachers tried to talk to her, but she didn't have her nap today, and she's always funny around strangers. But she watched everyone very closely and did seem to have a good time.

After playground time was over, we all went inside, and the kids sat at their tables while the teachers changed everyone's diaper one at a time. My concern about class size is what if that many kids aren't controllable, and you just have chaos most of the day? But the kids did really well sitting in their places, waiting their turns. I peeked into the older 2 room and saw that they were all sitting nicely at tables, too, playing with musical instruments. Music: nice.

A moment of music: not so nice happened during that diaper changing time, too, when someone turned the music on and "Who Let the Dogs Out" started playing. Not even the Kidz Bop version. I'm not gonna lie and say I don't play that crap when my kid is around, but that's a bit unexpected for the day care's choice of music. So that's a point away from PBS. However, I do not think PBS shows videos, and current Baby School does sometimes. Again, I'm not gonna lie and say I don't show my kid some videos, but that's kind of the point: she watches more than enough TV at home and doesn't need to watch it at school.

Another concern about class size is the possibility of one-on-one time. The assistant director talked to me about that a bit. She said they divide some activities so that the teacher can work with groups of 3 at time--art projects, for instance--and then she's able to focus on one child within that group. She said that throughout the day, the have one-on-one time with the children, hold them when they are crying, and do everything they can to contribute to their enrichment. One of the teachers in a separate conversation also advised that they spend one-on-one time with the children.

They also evaluate each child quarterly to see how well they are learning the elements of the curriculum such as numbers, ABCs, whatever. They give those who are struggling extra attention. And they keep the parents informed. They also give you a daily slip to say how your kid ate, napped and behaved, and how many diapers she had. That's something our CT Baby School did and that our current Baby School does not but that I wish they did. Many days, I have no idea if Penelope ate lunch or took a nap unless I ask. And I never know how she's doing with her speech, her socialization, her learning while at school. So that's another point for PBS.

Finally, as we left, I snagged a mom who was going in and asked her what she thought about the PBS. She said she's had her kids there for 4 years and really likes it. She says the pre-K is especially phenomenal. She said her youngest son potty trained in 2 weeks and she wishes her other kids had been there at the potty training age.

I confirmed that the PBS is actually $75 less per week than the current Baby School, not just $55, because the PBS offers a $20 discount for paying on time. That's pretty easy since the payments are taken electronically every week. That's $300 a month. So what I have to decide is whether the things I'm getting at the current Baby School make it worth $75 a week and 40 minutes a day.

Those things include
1. smaller class sizes.
2. beloved namby-pamby Montessori language.
3. status.
4. the ability to say I send my child to the best day care in town, which most people have heard of when I name it.

Points the PBS has over the current Baby School:
1. $75 per week savings.
2. 20 minutes shaved off my commute, each way.
3. more art projects.
4. daily reports of Penelope's basic activities.
5. quarterly reports of Penelope's developmental progress.

So how much are smaller, but not that much smaller, class sizes, and fuzzy-wuzzy language, but not exclusively fuzzy-wuzzy... worth? Are they worth $75 a week and 40 minutes a day?

I've emailed back and forth with a friend from high school who has her daughter in a decent day care that isn't the Best In Town. She says she's so neurotic about decisions in her life that she's trying to be the opposite when it comes to her daughter so that her daughter won't grow up to be as crazy as she is. Compelling idea. I do seem to add far more hands-wringing than necessary to a lot of choices. This day care is fine; there's really nothing wrong with it. The kids seemed happy there, and they seemed to like their teachers! I saw lots of interacting on the same level, and lots of hugging. Those are the most important things in some ways.

And the honest truth is that I can't afford our current day care if we have another child, which we definitely will. It's tough affording it now.

But for some reason, I'm having so much trouble making this leap. I don't know why! I wouldn't say my gut is against it; my gut is just extremely indecisive and over-analytical. This is not about going with my intuition. It doesn't feel like my intuition holding me back. It feels like my neuroses. I feel like anyone else, if presented with the current information, would go ahead and switch. When I told Lee all about it, he said he thinks we should switch. So what's the matter with me?

The thought has crossed my mind to just wait, but in fact this is actually a good time to make the switch if I'm going to make it. Penelope will move up to the next level at her current Baby School very soon anyway, so that transition will be difficult in its own way (though probably less so than going to a whole new location since some of her former classmates are in the older room, and the building and playground will still be familiar, and her old teachers are just right next door). Better to change schools, if we're going to, before she moves up to the next class so as to create as little uprooting as possible. Also, the PBS has an opening now. Furthermore, we do want to have another baby, but if I wait until I am pregnant again to switch, maybe there won't be room in the baby room, whereas if Penelope is already attending there when I get pregnant, our spot in the baby room is almost assured.

Blech. I don't know what to dooooo.